[Teachldsseminary] Dating Behavior vs Dating

[Susie Castro]

I think many youth consider dating to be the ability
to go alone with someone in a car.  If they can't
drive then they don't think they are dating yet.  But
I have seen youth who can't drive, exclusively spend
time with the same person.  It is obvious when they
hold hands and hug especially in public that they are
"DATING" especially if it goes on for months. That's
what I feel is dating behavior.

 We discussed this in connection with Section 1 and
the DVD Seek the Lord when President Hinckley strongly
encourages youth to avoid dating even in high school.
I tried to make it clear that there is such a thing as
dating behavior which includes all the above mentioned
physical expressions.  Going alone in a car with
someone on a date can be a little dangerous but the
physical dating behaviors certainly lead to the most
dangerous consequences especially when we are talking
about steady dating.  It's the behaviors that lead to
problems so whether they happen when you are alone in
a car or somewhere else it's the behaviors and
spending extended time together that leads to the
problem. 

I also tried to explain that the Brethren know that
sometimes our hearts aren't ready for the heartbreak
that comes with breakups.  I tried to explain to the
YM in class that they may say something that means
nothing to them but the girl may think it means
something totally different and her pipe dreams begin.
 The difference in communication can make all the
difference.  So I cautioned the YM that girls have
tender hearts and so be careful what you say and do.  

There is a great quote by President Kimball in the
Miracle of Forgiveness that John Bytheway uses in one
of his CD.  It basically says when even the best boy
and best girl spend too much time together bad things
can happen.  If you want the direct quote - look up
Steady dating in the index.  

I am not an expert and I certainly don't know if this
helped any of the youth in our seminary, but I sure
hope it helps someone from having a broken heart or
getting into a situation they don't know how to handle
with serious life consequences. The consequence stick
that is also on one of John Bytheway CDs talks about a
stick with choice printed at one end and consequence
on the other.  He explains that once you pick up one
end of the stick (choice end)you automatically pick up
the other end(consequence end).  That would also be a
great visual to demonstrate parts of this concept. 



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