[Teachldsseminary] QUES: Dating vs. Boyfriend / Girlfriend

[Kent Bowden]

This is how the New Era answered the question ("Q&A: Questions and Answers,"
*New Era,* Sept. 2005, 16):
http://library.lds.org/nxt/gateway.dll/Magazines/NewEra/2005.htm/new%20era%20september%202005.htm/qampa%20%20questions%20and%20answers.htm?f=templates$fn=document-frame.htm$3.0

"I'm 14, and I know we aren't supposed to date until we're 16. But a lot of
friends my age at school have a girlfriend or boyfriend, even though they
don't really date. Is anything wrong with this?"

New Era

"Q&A: Questions and Answers," *New Era,* Sept. 2005, 16

•     Having a boyfriend or girlfriend is dating. Even after you turn 16,
don't pair off until you are ready to prepare for marriage.

•     Dating at an early age will limit the number of friends you have and
may lead to more serious problems like immorality.

•     Waiting until you're 16 to date will strengthen your testimony and
your ability to keep other gospel standards.

•     Church standards are there for your happiness and protection.

If you're not sure whether there's anything wrong with having a boyfriend or
girlfriend at this age, look to the Church's standards. *For the Strength of
Youth* says: "Do not date until you are at least 16 years old. … When you
begin dating, go in groups or on double dates. Avoid going on frequent dates
with the same person. … Date only those who have high standards and in whose
company you can maintain your standards" (24). These guidelines will help
you enjoy dating and protect you.

Some teens pair off but say they're not dating. Having a boyfriend or
girlfriend, however, *is* dating, and it can create several problems:

• It can create jealousies with the couple's friends.

• It limits the number of people the couple get to know and deprives them of
friendships.

• Pairing off can create strong emotions and attractions. Couples might get
into tempting situations that seem too powerful to resist.

President Gordon B. Hinckley gave this counsel on dating: "Steady dating at
an early age leads so often to tragedy. Studies have shown that the longer a
boy and girl date one another, the more likely they are to get into trouble.

"It is better, my friends, to date a variety of companions until you are
ready to marry. Have a wonderful time, but stay away from familiarity" ("A
Prophet's Counsel and Prayer for Youth," *New Era,* Jan. 2001, 13).

On 10/4/06, nw <nomoser at yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> We were focusing on Sections 21 and 22 this morning in seminary and were
> talking about words of our prophet for us today.  We were listing some of
> the topics that are covered in "For the Strength of Youth" and when I
> mentioned dating, one of the girls in the class asked whether "dating" also
> means having a boyfriend.  We were right at the end of class, so I let
> others respond for about 15 seconds, then I said that, either way, the
> prophet wants us to be careful.
>
> So I'll pose the question here:  Has the Church made any statements with
> respect to having a boyfriend / girlfriend, such as that we should not be
> pairing off before age 16?  Do you take the statements on dating to apply
> equally to the boyfriend / girlfriend topic as well?
>
> Thanks in advance.
>
> Norm White
> Folsom, CA
>
>
>
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-- 
Kent, Chris and the rest of the Bowden Family
BowdenFamily at gmail.com