Latter-day Village Square

I too wish to join the thousands of LDS bloggers world-wide who are expressing their feelings following Pres. Gordon B, Hinckley’s death.

I have a strange relationship with death.  It has never shocked or saddened me with overwhelming grief. Even when I got the call from my brother that my father had died in an accident, my breath was taken away for an instant, then I was like, “OK, good job Dad, you’re on to the next phase.  They needed a master teacher and missionary in the spirit world.”  Earlier, neighbors across the street from us lost their 14-year old son to Leukemia. My reaction; I was glad he was finally going on that mission he always talked about.

So I have to admit that I not profoundly sad at Pres. Hinckley’s passing.  Instead I prefer to think about the glorious welcoming in the spirit world and his reuniting with his beloved wife.  I am sure it surpassed any missionary homecoming we can imagine. 

Pres. Hinckley did have an effect on my life; I know he was a true prophet who communicated directly with our Heavenly Father. I know so from personal experience; let me explain. But first, let you tell you that this is one of the most sacred experiences of my life, so as I write this, there will be several breaks for tears.  I am an emotional guy and thinking about this always breaks me up.

I served a mission in Germany from 1972-1974, in the Frankfurt area to be exact.  It was a tough time to serve there; it was at the height of the Vietnam conflict and all of the Watergate shenanigans.  We were not appreciated very much by a majority of the German people and it was very hard to find folks willing to accept our message.  Our weekly teaching hours were almost always in the single digits, with our tracting hours sometimes higher than 40.  It was in the middle of this the then Elder Hinckley visited our mission and held a mission-wide conference. 

I will never forget the testimony meeting that closed the conference.  Most of our zone and mission conferences closed with a testimony meeting, so that fact was not unusual. But how Pres. Hinckley conducted it was.  We partook of the sacrament; Elder Hinckley and our President James C. Ellsworth administered the sacrament. When was the last time you saw an Apostle of the Lord bless the sacrament?  I never had.  The assistants to the president then passed it out to all of us present.  At one point in the meeting, Elder Hinckley asked all of us to take turns and each bear out testimonies.

Finally, Elder Hinckley said he would like to offer a prayer for us and the mission. We all knelt down where we were sitting, right there in the pews.  As Pres. Hinckley began to pray, I was struck by this feeling of slight embarrassment, like when you walk into a room and someone is praying silently. His communication with our Heavenly Father was like none I had heard before. Gone were the large words and flowery phrases so many of us are wont to use when praying aloud, instead I was struck with how simple and yet powerful his words were.  He WAS talking directly to his Father, beseeching him to bless the missionaries, to bless the German people, to open up our hearts and theirs to the spirit to that His work might go forth.

Finally, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of inadequacy; that I was truly in the wrong place.  I knew, not just felt, but KNEW into the core of my soul, that I dared not look up, as I had the very distinct feeling come to me that the chapel roof was open and Elder Hinckley and Heavenly Father were talking and speaking directly to each other.  If I looked up, I knew I would be consumed as I was not worth to behold that scene and presence. As his prayer ended, I was physically shaking, not from dread,, but from how close I had been to that heavenly vision.  I had been the presence of the Father, or at least in the presence of a conduit directly between a loving, omnipotent being and his loving, obedient, and imploring son.  It was a feeling I cannot adequately explain, even to this day.  Words simply fail me.  But when I think about it, I still know that what I witnessed was real.

I did not talk with my companion about it.  I was sure he was more worthy than I, and would not have felt the dread of heavenly glory. All the way home on the train I felt so inadequate and sorrowful. Perhaps that was the adversary, overplanting seeds of doubt in me.  But I knew what I felt was glorious, that I had heard if not seen the kind of apostolic rapture that must have existed in the Kirtland Temple.  I knew beyond any doubt that Elder Hinckley WAS a special witness; that he knew his Heavenly Father in ways and means I could not. 

I kept this incident to myself over the years  However, I did not share it with anyone from my mission until a few years after I returned home that I was gather together with several of my for mission mates for a dinner in Salt Lake. We started reminiscing and that topic of that conference came up.  I finally shared my experience, when my then companion, looked me in the eye and said, in essence, “no way, I felt the very same thing.”  We had not spoken to each other about it for several years, yet had both experienced the same feeling. I finally felt comfortable sharing it in a sacrament meeting talk and with some of my seminary classes.

So as you can imaging, for years I’ve been very interested in what Elder and then President Hinckley had to say.  Let’s just say that I knew he was really clued in to what we needed to do as a people. 

Oh yes, there was a surge in missionary activity after that conference.  We were all blessed by Elder Hinckley’s supplication. 

I will miss Pres. Hinckley’s wit, humor and insight.  But I know the Lord will qualify and hold up his next Prophet as he did Pres. Hinckley, for as long as his service is required.  I know our church to be true and our prophets to be in direct communication with the head of our church, even our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

In His Name, Amen.

This is my blog so I can say what I want.  I am sure everyone has a different personal response to the news we got - well, I got today, some may have heard last night - of the death of our beloved prophet, President Gordon B. Hinckley.

I could not sleep, as is all too often the case - and got up about 3 AM to read - I am reading Jesus the Christ for the first time with much relish.  I got it into my head to look up information about the author - James E. Talmage - so I got online and first checked my email and saw a message from my brother in law with a link to the Salt Lake Tribune article about President Hinckley’s death.

I admit I was stunned.  Now how could anyone be stunned that a 97 year old man might die?  Well, I know know know that he has been sustained all these years with incredible strength, despite his years and his losses, and he has only slightly slowed down in the past few years - I most noted how straight he always stood up at the pulpit as a sign of his vigor.  And he continued to appear around the world at various temple dedications etc - looking perhaps older, but appearing!  Speaking!  Joking!  I just had it in my head that he was going to have a Centennial Birthday Celebration in 2010 that would awe the world, and continue to lead a 13 million member church, and the world beyond our ability to keep up, as he has been doing for so many years in the face of ever increasing world challenges.

Frankly, I cannot imagine anyone filling his shoes.  But then, I hear you all saying - no one fills someone else’s shoes, that’s not what it is about.  I hear you all saying, how much he missed his eternal companion and longed to be with her again.  I hear you saying he has earned his rest from mortality - I hear you saying the Lord always provides.  I hear you saying there is such comfort and beauty in our knowledge of the plan of salvation and eternal families - and in the order of church succession.  I know all that.  I mean, I really do KNOW all that too - I can say it as well.  But, I still feel a huge loss and feel bewildered.

I was telling Tim the story of how I met President Hinckley and he suggested we ought to blog our experiences.  So I am, in an attempt to work through my feelings.

In 1994, I was an usher at the Orlando Temple dedication - I already felt at home in that building as I had been involved in the open house, and was in one of the dedicatory choirs. But on that day as an usher, I must have run into President Hinckley three times - I always seemed to be in his way!  The first time was in the temple basement hallway.  - I turned around and there he was a few feet away from me - I was right in his path - I was caught completely off-guard, but I did shake his hand.  That was almost 14 years ago and at the time I was struck by how small and fragile he seemed - how weak his handshake was - and I never expected him to live another 14 years back then.

It wasn’t long before President Hunter passed away and Gordon B. Hinckley became the new prophet.  I read the wonderful biography written by Sherri Dew, and knew he had in fact had some health problems as a boy - and with my face to face with him, I wondered . . . but he was renewed again and again.  I have watched both my parents die of cancer.  I know what it looks like now - as someone is approaching death.  And I did not see it in President Hinckley.  I must conclude that since the Lord obviously could and has kept him going all this time in marvelous ways, and has answered the united daily prayers of millions to sustain him, when he was done with his mission, he was blessed to make a swift exit, which was an answer to HIS prayers.

While still living in the Orlando area, one year they broadcast the 4th of July Celebration from BYU to our stake center.  I attended.  Gordon B. Hinckley was the keynote speaker.  I remember giving him a standing ovation - something I only do when overwhelmingly impressed by something - and wanted so bad to yell out - “Gordon B. Hinckley for PRESIDENT!!!!!”  meaning President of the United States.

None of this is all that profound - but it is my personal experience, so I will mention it.  I also attended his 90th Birthday Celebration in the brand new Conference Center in 2000.  It was so marvelous - to be there in person.  And I really did believe I would someday attend his 100th birthday celebration.

I recently did a silly little thing.  I got online and looked up information about Catholic Popes.  I wanted to know the oldest pope there ever was.  Well, there have been a lot of popes, and I didn’t stick with it long enough to be sure, but I don’t think any of them ever lived to be 100.  And, in fact, none I found lived to be even 97.  It is totally meaningless, I know, but it was a trivia fact I was interested in.

No matter what tribute has ever been written about Gordon B. Hinckley - it was bound to be incomplete, because the next week he would announce some incredible new thing that no one believed could happen, and then it always did!  Now maybe we can read a comprehensive tribute of all he accomplished, of all the ways he touched and inspired and took time to assist or spearhead - whether it was a family matter, or a city matter, or a state matter or a national matter or a world matter.  Nothing seemed to go unnoticed or attended to with him.

We all know of the marvelous relationship he had with his wife and what a profound loss it has been for him since she passed in 2004.  But I have been thinking about his mother.  He lost her at a young age, and I know he has felt that loss his entire life.  As well as a brother who died quite young, and his father.  My father died when I was 22.  I have missed him more profoundly than I even can begin to understand, let alone express.  Now I have lost my mother - six years ago this month - and I will die myself before I am “over” that loss.

So of course there is a celebration going on in a place of sweet reunion.  And then I suppose he will be put into service.  If he could do what he did as an elderly mortal man for so many decades - imagine what he will be up to there!

Finally - a little ironic anecdote - the last time I got bananas a couple weeks ago, the only ones available were very green.  I pointed them out to my son - and he reminded me of President Hinckley’s comments about green bananas - how at his age, he couldn’t afford to buy green bananas as he never knew if he’d be around when they ripened.  We laughed at that bit of Hinckley humor.

This morning I ate one of those  bananas - and it was still green.

If you would like a place to share your personal memories of President Hinckley - please feel free to add a comment here.

I testify that Gordon B. Hinckley was uniquely prepared by God to serve in incalculable ways - that his call as prophet, seer and revelator was divine, that he was guided in all he did by our supreme Father in Heaven and what he said and did as the prophet was the will of God.

In the name of Jesus Christ.   Amen.

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